School have been pretty ok so far.... although i am lost most of the time during my lectures and tutorials.... haha..... but that has always been the case for me.... and my new class is also pretty ok.... my new classmates are cool people..... and quite fun in a way..... but still there's this girl in class whom i really don dare to talk to or even look at..... and its all because of my friends who have been teasing me with her.... haha..... and most of the time they talk pretty loudly so i'm damn sure that she has heard a lot of those "conversations"..... haha..... she muz think that i'm some kind of a pervert..... man, its only the 4th week! haha..... yea, that's why i'm scared to face her..... i'm a coward..... haha.....

well, today the german club had this welcoming party for the new german club freshies.... it was really really cool..... the new people were really fun to be with and most of them were really into the games that we planned for them..... it was way cool..... also i felt that today most of the committee members really bonded with each other..... i could really feel that we were at ease in each others' presence..... selva is a cool dude...... well, he acts like one.... haha.... and weiwei is a damn funny person.... always making me laugh and making stupid jokes.... but still, i think the people who make the stupidest jokes are my good friends akil and beckham..... haha.... in this aspect, they're still the best.... yea!!!! haha..... they are morons, that's what they are!!! hehe.... then after the whole event rajam, jenny, selva, weiwei, karl and myself went to macs to sit down and chill out..... a lot of stuff bout each other were shared.... some stuff were really shocking when it was revealed.... some people were even stunned.... haha... it was so cool juz to be hanging out with this bunch of people..... and i treated them to the 25 cents ice cream from macs.... haha.... i know i'm a cheap skate lah but what can i do when my financial situation isn't that good.... but its the thought that counts right? haha.....

i'm confused now..... really confused..... what should i do.... should i go ahead and do it or should i juz let it go.... i've been thinking bout it for a while and i had decided to let it go..... but after today, i feel i should consider it again.... why is it so hard for me to make a decision..... the longer i take, the lower my chances are..... but i juz can't seem to make up my mind bout it..... i am so so indecisive..... in the past, i probably would have jump at the chance but now, after so many knocks, i'm finding it hard to take it...... i mean, there's no guarantee that i will get it..... i guess i'm juz afraid.... afraid of taking another knock..... i'm a coward..... a damn bloody coward, that's what i am..... maybe i should juz forget it...... but then again maybe i should give it a try....... argghh.... why am i so indecisive...... somebody please juz knock some sense into me..... sigh.....





Riz lost himself at 7/28/2004 10:20:00 pm

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Riz lost himself at 7/27/2004 11:45:00 pm

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Gosh! the napfa test is on the 4th of august..... crap, i haven't been training for it..... oh   man....was really caught by surprised..... didn't know that it was going to be this soon.... haha.... really in a state of panic now.... actually its not only me.... basically all my friends are in a state of panic.... haha.... my only worry is my pull-ups... i can't even do one!!! yup, you heard me right! i CANNOT do pull-ups.... sigh.... i think its too late now to do anything bout it.... but even so, i'm going to do my best!!! haha....

oh ya, a few days ago zin proclaimed me to be her "girlfriend"..... which makes her my "boyfriend"....  yea, you heard me right.... that crazy girl!! haha..... wait, that isn't all...... chantel is zin's boyfriend also which makes chantel my rival...... all this means that zin is bisexual, chantel a butch and me *gosh* gay..... gulp! ermm..... all this sounds weird right? haha.... i totally agree with you!!! this is the weirdest network of relationships ever!!! and today when i met the two babies in school, they said something to me which makes the whole thing even weirder.... actually it was chantel, i think...... not gonna say what they said cause its really weird...... zin, how could you make me do this?? don you feel sad by making me do that? haha.... by the way, i want to make this clear to everyone that i am totally straight!! i am a perfectly normal guy with perfectly normal guy "needs"..... hehe.... yea...

today my lab was pretty much screwed up.... i was typing in all the functions and suddenly when i tried to test it, it hang.... then when i tried to restart the thing, all the functions that i had type was gone!! yes, it was FREAKING GONE!!!!!! and i couldn't load back the file that i had saved cause..... there was an error..... so sad.... had to retype the whole thing again.... all my friends was finishing their lab and i was busy retyping everything from scratch.... but i was cool bout it.... haha.... and my lab partner, the lovely david, was "suaning" me the whole time..... one moment he was saying he didn't mind me slowing him down and another moment he was saying how he would have finished the lab if not for "someone"..... haha.... thanks a lot dude!

juz now i got pretty pissed off with someone..... i won't mention his name cause i don't want things to be blown out of proportion..... he was asking me why i wrote my nick as it was..... and i told him bout it.... then, he wanted me to tell him in detail bout the stuff that happened prior to me writing my nick as that.... i declined cause i didn't feel like talking bout it..... then he said something which really pissed me off..... i asked him if he wanted to pick a fight with me and i warned him not to piss me off any further..... i told him to buzz off if he didn't like what i was saying..... i was pretty pissed then..... in the end, he apologised and said he was only joking..... what man, it sounded confrontational to me......  whatever man..... can't be bothered anymore.... well, i'm gonna stop now..... see ya....




Riz lost himself at 7/22/2004 11:33:00 pm

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well, i basically did nothing today..... it felt kinda weird.... cause i've been busy with school and stuff for awhile and suddenly, i have nothing to do.... but its kinda nice also.... juz doing nothing all day.... woke up around 1.30..... haha.... i know what you are thinking.... i'm a damn lazy slob..... but who cares.... haha...... yea, i did basically nothing today..... isn't that great?! i know some people will kill me for this.....
 
juz now i read kel's blog..... realised he wrote something bout me in his post yesterday..... bloody bugger.... juz kidding bro.... haha.... but i am still protesting on what you wrote...... the way you wrote it made it look like there's something going on.... when there's nothing going on..... what only man..... you better change it!!! haha..... and juz because i was late, doesn't mean that you can put all the blame on me...... everything also my fault.... i overslept only what, not like i committed a crime or something..... haha.... so chill man....
 
notice that my past few posts have been pretty short.... well, that's because nothing interesting have been happening in my life.... i'm back to the old boring life that i was living before...... gonna take things slightly easy from now on.... i'm taking time off to smell the roses..... wonder if i got that saying right.... haha... well, i better go to sleep now.... chill people!! ciao!




Riz lost himself at 7/19/2004 12:34:00 am

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It's been a pretty tiring day..... and pretty depressing also..... i had 6 hours of lab today, and during the last lab, the lecturer actually told me and my lab partner that our lab circuit was the worst in the class.... that was such a big blow man..... so demoralizing..... this is only the 2nd week..... crap...... the first 2 labs was ok, but the last lab was a killer.....  but never mind, i'll do better next time!! i'll show her!!!!! i'll be the number one student!!!! haha....
 
 
yea, i finally watched spiderman2 on wed...... i watched it alone by the way..... wonder where all my friends were.... haha.... its a cool movie.... really nice...... and my friends were telling me that its not nice juz so i would not watch it...... luckily i'm not that stupid...... although i am lah..... cause i'm "....." what!  akil and expert, u should know what i mean..... hehe......
 
will be meeting up with kel and a few of the rest tmr afternoon for basketball or something and then after that i'll be doing the damn NE project with some of my friends...... stupid man.... we're in poly and we still have to do NE..... haha.... i feel like i'm in secondary school once again..... what only..... donno why, but i juz thought of my sweetie pie..... haven't seen her online for awhile and she also haven't been updating her blog..... i hope she's ok..... tiff, if ure reading this, juz leave me a message or something yah? well, that's all for today i guess..... pretty short huh.... haha.... gonna stop now..... PeACe people!!!



Riz lost himself at 7/16/2004 11:59:00 pm

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Yo peeps..... nothing much happened these past few days.... well, akil has been pestering me to do this one thing which i'm really really not sure if i should do.... not gonna say what it is bout though.... very confidential.... haha.... yo akil, i'm juz really really confused bout the whole thing, so juz let me think bout it k? i'll still need your advice though.... i really don't know man....

Today, i passed something to zinmar and chantel..... have been feeling pretty bad bout some stuff that happened before.... don't worry babies, you girls are not bullying me..... ermm.... let me see what else happened..... well, after school akil, me, zhiwei, david, beckham, ah beng together with kelvin and ah boon went for some pool action..... i had heard bout kel's prowess in pool and i got to see it first hand.... haha... though i think akil was the dominant one again.... as usual.... i stayed away from the so called "pro" table where akil, zhiwei, ah boon and kel were displaying their skills and stuck with the rest.... haha.... i'm a coward.... yea, that's what i am!! i think i did pretty well today though i was really really unlucky to lose 2 matches against david and beng.... my white ball went in after hitting the black ball.... the feeling sucks.... haha....

Been wanting to watch spiderman 2..... but guess what, all my friends have already watched it.... great.... now i probably have to go watch it alone.... such good friends are so hard to find.... haha.... juz kidding..... well, i better go now.... got to wake up early tmr for school.... sigh.... well, see ya peeps!


Riz lost himself at 7/14/2004 12:38:00 am

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Hey yo! today was pretty eventful.... i actually woke up at 7 in the morning as i was supposed to go for my year three maths..... but i felt really really tired... but i knew that if i missed this lesson, i would have to quit the whole programme..... after thinking for awhile, i decided to go back to sleep and give the maths a miss.... haha.... yea, i'm out of the year three maths programme now.... i slept till 12 noon and then proceeded to meet the pals in school for some cool badminton action.... yea, sham, leon, jas, akil, kel, zhiyong were there and it was really fun.... it has been quite a while since i held a racket in my hand, so obviously i was really really rusty.... haha.... but it was cool.... i had fun.... but somehow throughout the whole time, i juz felt that something was seriously wrong.... i couldn't pinpoint that feeling to anything.... i hate the feeling.... i tried to ignore it but it juz wouldn't go away..... its like whenever i had that feeling in the past, it always turns out to be true, that something was wrong..... sigh, what can i do.... i'll juz have to wait and see.....

after badminton, the group went to city hall for dinner.... but i didn't cause i juz felt really tired and my mum had already cooked dinner.... and then, when i got home and while i was watching the channel 5 news, i saw leon and renee..... yea, they were on the news bout some research on toxins in food or something.... haha.... cool siah.... leon had actually told me to watch out for the news 2 days ago but they didn't air it then.... and when they finally aired it today, leon was not at home... haha.... i gave him a call and he sounded pretty excited.... cool....

oh ya, diana smsed me on thursday saying that she has signed up for nyppal.... haha... was kinda shocked when i heard that... haha... she was saying that after regina, miss dorothy and me approached her and asked her to join, she gave up and decided to sign up.... she took it as a sign, after 3 people asked her.... haha.... but get this straight k girl, i didn't force you to join, it was your own decision.... haha.... and yah, the secret that i was talking bout is out..... clare is in nyp.... yea, how cool is that! haha.... akil was shocked when we met her at the bridge linking fj and macs..... he was really really shocked..... you should have seen the expression on his face then.... it was priceless man.... cool..... hehe....

A lot of stuff has happened to me.... i feel now that my position in both my clubs are pretty shaky.... people don't trust me anymore.... especially in the german club.... had a disagreement with the advisors and things are not looking very nice.... they don't show it but i can sense their discomfort..... stress, stress, stress..... maybe its time for me to step down.......


Riz lost himself at 7/10/2004 11:45:00 pm

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Today was the 2nd and last day of club crawl.... i performed the german dance again but luckily this time, it was at the tfa, so not many people saw it.... but most of my classmates were there.... and that bloody bastard akil couldn't keep his mouth shut.... he told sham, kel and leon that i was performing..... in the end, i had to endure the torture that they all inflicted on me.... haha.... but seriously, this was so last min... and i got so pissed when our advisor blamed us for the cock up.... screw you!!!

As for the pal booth, well it was a disaster yesterday..... there was no display at all.... it was so so pathetic.... and i only have myself to blame for not doing my job well.... but luckily, zhiyong, cj, pris and jun stepped in..... they made it more presentable and today, the booth looked better as they did some improvements..... thanks a lot guys..... cj and pris was really really angry at the state of the booth.... and pris kind of scolded me yesterday.... well, they have a right to be angry.... it was not well done at all.... if anyone was to be blame, it was me and vinder..... i hope you would not blame the others... cause they seriously were not aware of anything.... vinder and i were the main ones who was actually "planning" the stuff.... really sorry you guys.... i'm so so sorry..... i'm disappointed in myself and the way things have turned out.... please don blame the others..... i'm really really sorry....


Riz lost himself at 7/07/2004 11:57:00 pm

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only two words to describe me now..... tired and pissed.... today was the first day of the new semester and it started pretty well with the first few hours of lab.... at least i managed to keep myself awake then.... but after the lab session, it all went downhill.... i was practically sleeping throughout the lecture and tutorial in the evening.... but i had only myself to blame.... i watched the euro final early this morning..... haha.... i was really in a "blur" state of mind.... couldn't concentrate at all..... was juz so so dead tired.... and to make it worse, i had to stay back after school to help the german club set up their booth for club crawl.... i dragged myself to meet the group.... i was unwilling to go but i would feel really really bad if i didn't go..... what to do..... oh ya, greece won.... cool siah! was rooting for them actually cause i juz love rooting for the underdogs.... for the soccer romantics, it is a dream come true.... haha... and i was watching the match with my sister..... that's a first.... never thought that my sis watched soccer.... but it was really cool to watch it with her.... she was saying that the greeks are cute.... haha.... what only!

and for the pals booth, well its a disaster.... its tmr and we seriously haven done much.... and i juz got a call from that someone who says that he forgot that he has an appointment tmr and can't make it for the club crawl.... what the hell man! you FORGOT?!! crap! who's going to help take charge of the booth tmr? you can't juz leave those poor pals all alone there by themselves.... they need you to brief and guide them..... you are in charge for goodness sake!! man, this club crawl is going to be the worse for pals ever and i'm ashamed to say that i was part of it..... crap....

well, i did something really bad today.... feeling kind of guilty now.... i'm turning into this really really horrible monster that i never thought existed inside of me.... i guess i was juz too stressed out and too tired, but still that was no excuse for what i did.... why did i have to do that? i don't know.... i'm juz crazy i guess.... i'm really feeling like crap now....

juz now a friend that i met online a few months ago confessed her feelings to me.... was kinda shock when she told me that.... well, i told her that i'm not ready for anything and that i want us to be friends..... glad that she was understanding enough.... well for you, i juz wanna say that there are many many guys out there who are way way better than me..... get to know more friends first.... anyways, you haven met me yet, so i may not be the person that you think i am.... but i'm glad you told me bout it.... really appreciate it girl..... it takes lots of guts to do that.....

oh ya, jasmine called me juz now.... i had asked her to help me get more people for the club crawl..... and she told me something shocking.... haha.... and i'm not supposed to say anything as its meant to be a surprise..... cool siah.... apparently, only a few people know bout it..... yea, no worries jas, i'll keep my mouth shut.... for now that is.... haha....


Riz lost himself at 7/05/2004 11:07:00 pm

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Hey ya! i haven been updating my blog for a few days..... i've been so so busy that i barely had time to sleep... haha.... well, let's see.... i was helping out at the seg orientation for the mf side from tuesday till thursday.... it was really fun but tiring.... the mf people are so friendly and cool, they really made me feel at home... not like the ecc side where you can feel their arrogance whenever you are around them.... and they make you feel like you're second best.... what only.... haha.... and after a while being with the fun mf people, i even thought i was an mf student.... haha... how cool is that! yea, but too bad i'm still an ecc student... haha...

i spoke to chantel and zinmar on thursday night after the orientation.... we had a serious talk.... its official now, chantel and zinmar are out of pal... yea, you heard me right, they have quit pals for good.... sigh, what to do.... it seems that they are having problems of their own and it would be really selfish of me to try to stop them.... though i tried.... i have to say that i am really really sad and disappointed to see them go.... i've tried so hard to get them into the pal committee and fought to let a certain someone allow them to stay.... but its all in vain now.... all down the drain.... i'm juz really really disappointed..... and the worse thing is, this morning mr chai called me this morning and asked me for confirmation for the nominations of the pal comm member for sege.... i was really worried then.... i didn't know what to say.... in the end, i told him the truth.... he didn't sound too happy bout it..... but what can i do.... its juz sad that things had to turn out this way.... but if they really feel better without pal, then good for them.... so to chantel and zinmar, all the best in whatever you do in future.... though we are all gonna miss you both.... i am going to miss the both of you..... Take care babies!

last night i finally got my butt off to see the doctor.... with a "little" persuasion from my mum that is..... the doc told me that i have all the symtoms of stress.... haha... he told me to chill a little.... how to do that man!! i have so many things on my mind now.... cannot chill.... haha.... well, now i have to eat this stupid mixture that taste really bad.... the taste is sweet at first but a few seconds later the sweetness turns to bitterness.... yucks.... the other tablets and pills are ok but its the mixture that's bugging me slightly..... well, i have no choice.... the doc says if my cough don get any better, i will have to go for an x-ray..... but i'm pretty sure i'll be ok soon.... i hope.... haha....

this afternoon akil and i went to art friend in bras basah to get some stuff for the club crawl.... to be honest, nothing has been done yet.... its really screwed up man.... but at least we're gonna have the basic stuff..... that's the most important thing..... but still, its such a disappointment.... disappointed in that someone also for not taking charge of the thing properly.... well, i guess life is like that.... after akil and i met vinder in school in the evening, we went for our usual pool session.... haha..... and i finally WON!!!!! hahaha...... yea, i beat AKIL!!!! how cool is that!!! i beat him with the score of 6-5..... yea!! haha.... and he was complaining all the way to the mrt station after my VICTORY.... haha.... what only man.... the fact is that you LOST!! so accept that!! haha.... sorry lah bro, i think i got too excited.... well, its not everyday that i get to beat the master at his own game.... so let me enjoy this feeling while it last yah?


Riz lost himself at 7/04/2004 01:01:00 am

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Stress Stress Stress...........


Riz lost himself at 7/03/2004 10:35:00 am

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